First of all, if you have cold Capri-Sonne, please pass it to me.😪.
This Newsletter thing is not easy as it appears to be o. You’ll say shebi it’s just to do this one, that one, and that one. Thinking of topics, reaching out to appropriate people, EDITING line by line, and so on. I always want to make sure everything is in sync. But I love doing this, so I can’t complain for long.😂.
So don’t just read this Newsletter. Please be kind enough to like, leave a comment, and help share too.🫂.
Now, let’s get to business.
When it comes to Sex or Sex before marriage, I’m always careful about the topic because it’s a topic to be careful about. Everyone has their views and opinions about Sex and especially Sex before marriage. If you ‘carelessly’ express a view that’s contrary to another person’s view when it comes to sex, it’d be like stepping into a lion’s den.
I am a Christian, and any opinion you see me air about sex is rooted in the word of God. In my opinion, sex before marriage is a no-no. But it’s an individual’s choice to make right?
And for me, how many is my body? I won’t even lie to you, I don’t know so much about sex. I probably do not know so much because it’s not even time to experience what I want to know.
Of course, as a child, I watched pornography. But pornography is even the wrong school to start with when it comes to knowing about sex. In my opinion, pornography doesn’t paint the true picture of what sex ought to be. Asides from all other reasons not to watch pornography, I believe sex is a beautiful thing, and pornography pictures sex as otherwise, as something to be done in a rush, viciously and roughly. Let’s not get into details.🌚😂.
I’ve heard and read opinions and views about Sex before marriage. Is it right, wrong, or necessary to ‘do the do’ before marriage? Then God thought, let’s get people on board to express their opinions about Sex before marriage.
Not just people, knowledgeable and experienced people. We have two married women on board.🥰😍.
So let’s all read what they have to say, shall we?
First Person:
As young people, there’s always this burning desire in us to be loved and to enjoy the pleasures of life. We get to a certain point in our lives where it’s almost impossible to control our hormones, and we just want to release the "kraken."
Sex is basically something every young person craves, but the question is: is it right to have sex before marriage? No, it is not. I will not lie; some pleasures come with sex and satisfaction. But if we give ourselves to everything that can be satisfying, we lose control over life itself.
Growing up, I think I literally did everything I was told not to do. Being rebellious and wanting to be free, I did things I wasn’t supposed to. Our parents told us to avoid these things not because they didn’t want us to enjoy them. They did so to protect us from certain realities or pain they’ve experienced before.
As a Christian, no matter what society or new (false) doctrines say, the truth is that God still hates adultery. It destroys our spirits. It gives satan a hold over our lives and affairs. It creates cracks and holes in the fortress of a man’s spirit, giving room for snakes, rodents, and other reptiles to creep in. The least bad thing to happen after premarital sex is pregnancy.
We think pregnancy is the worst thing that can happen, but it’s not. We try to copy the American way of life through their movies and all, but can we look at how broken (mentally and emotionally) young people in America and Europe are? They are depressed because they are getting into things they’re not supposed to (like premarital sex and drugs). If we don’t want to be broken and confused like these people are, we must try to take control of our lives again. "Body no be firewood," yes, but "body too must not become a spare part."
For me, all my attempts to have sex were destroyed by God. It pained me at that time. Even when I slept at a girl's place in my 100-level apartment, we both got completely naked in the room, but God spoiled everything (I’m laughing and crying right now). Well, thank God for his mercies. He saved me and preserved me for his purpose. We must all build the strength to abstain from sex until marriage - for your spirit, for your sanity, for your pride, and for your future.
Second Person:
First off, SEX means almost becoming one person. Sex is about pursuing physical, emotional, sexual, and ontological union. It is about submission.
SEX is a spiritual activity, and yes, it comes with a lot of BONDING when it happens. You’re not just physically bonding. You’re bonding with that person spiritually, which is why the Bible states in Hebrews 13:4 that “…the bed kept undefiled.”
Statistics show that when you have sex with a person, you leave a part of yourself in that person and the same for the other. Now, Imagine having sex with ‘10 persons.’ Wow! So you now have the DNA of ‘lagbaja and tamedo’ (If you can’t pronounce it, don’t worry), and you get to put your life at risk. Trust me waiting isn’t easy, but with GOD, it is, and it’s the best decision you’d ever be glad you made later in the future.
The Bible says In 1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body.”
Now, listen, it says FLEE. What does it mean to flee? It means to run away! ‘To japa’ as we always say. Now, some people in our generation always want to act like they’re smarter than God, alright? The Bible says ‘Sexual Immorality,’ so you feel like you have the license to do every other thing asides from sex. You can smooch, kiss, cuddle, and even dry hump? And that’s not enough sexual activity? Wow! “Dey play ehn, just dey play.” Everything about that activity is SEXUAL, and the Bible says you should flee from it.
Don’t say you’ll do part and skip penetration, my dear. You’ve done it already. It’s sexual activity, and that’s disobedience to God's word and your body which belongs to him. Flee!!!
There are two dimensions to sex in this parlance. But before talking about it, let me state that God is the originator of sex. Since God is, you can be sure that whatever He originates is good.
Let’s check Genesis 4:1:👇🏻
“And Adam knew Eve, his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.”
The Bible said Adam knew his wife! WIFE, not GIRLFRIEND, right? Meaning they were already married. The Originator of sex, God, knows that this lovely thing (Sex) he created is a spiritual activity that can only take place in MARRIAGE because there’s a deeper meaning to sex than what we know.
There are “two dimensions” to sex, and that is, it can either be pleasurable or poisonous! It's like salt. It gives taste to our meals. But what happens when you put it in your eyes? It hurts! The same salt.
Another way to describe the two dimensions of sex is using the example of an orange; the ripe and the unripe. When you take the ripe one, you derive pleasure, right?
When you take an unripe orange, what happens to your teeth and taste?
The truth is that God makes all things beautiful in ITS TIME. So, when it is not its time, it is everything except beautiful.
Let’s look at this, for example, if you open the door, and meet a man and his wife making love, what you are likely going to say is, “I am sorry.” But if we open the door, and meet you having sex with someone you are not married to, most likely, YOU are the one who would say sorry.
In our concluding moment, it is important to state unequivocally that pre-marital sex is SIN against God and your body. It adversely affects your confidence, particularly in coming boldly to the throne of grace, no matter who has taught you about GRACE…
Sex before marriage can leave you with a deep feeling of inadequacy, It has the potential of making you feel less than who God has made you. The addiction to sex is something you really don't want to experience.
Third Person:
Growing up, I listened to preachings and teachings that seriously advocated against Sex before Marriage and how horrible it is to practice fornication. I mean, the first idea I had about ‘Sex’ was my aunt telling me that - ‘If a boy touches you once, you’ll get pregnant and God will never forgive you’ 😂😂. To an extent, she might be right, in the sense that if you’re with a guy you really like (with the feeling being very mutual), in a compromising position & with no self-control or protection, that first touch could lead to a robust nine months and on the other hand, I disagree, now that I’m older and more mature, that God won’t forgive me if I fall into temptation and sincerely ask for forgiveness.
Now, sex before marriage is one topic that weighs largely on your choice as a person, regardless of what you’ve heard in church or what your friends pressure you to do - it all bothers on ‘your choice.’
Following the safeguards of morality and spirituality, a person’s view on sex before marriage can be reasonably swayed, and as such, their choice frowns against and discourages practicing Sex before Marriage because they believe that having sex, especially when one is unmarried, is like an addiction or a distraction, one that disallows you from thriving spiritually and blocks you off from God’s spirit. Their choice also tailors and prunes their actions to the teaching that - one’s body ought to be the temple of God which should not be defiled by worldly desires and lust, especially mixing bodily fluids with anyone other than your spouse.
Moving away from morality and spirituality, it wouldn’t be strange if I add that a lot of peeps out there are practicing sex before marriage, the reason being that sex before marriage helps them to garner sexual experience, sexual compatibility (“how will you know the stew is sweet if you don’t taste it” - that’s what they say😂) and majority, for fun.
The negative side of having sex before marriage is not practicing safe sex and having it with multiple sexual partners, ending up with an unplanned pregnancy, or even with STDs.
As an individual, I don’t advise practicing sex before marriage because it shields you from a lot of things, especially from lying men who want you just for “the sex.” On the other hand, I’ve got no issue with anyone having sex while being unmarried but make sure to practice safe sex and if possible, try celibacy, it won’t hurt.
Are you enjoying reading this post? What do you think? Don’t forget to share your thoughts with me in the comment section when you’re done reading.❤️.
Fourth Person:
Sex before marriage! This is a topic that I've had views about for a long time before it was time for me to get married. My Catholic background is one that taught and encouraged chastity, a value that is akin to the rejection of sex before marriage.
So what this means is that from childhood, I had an ingrained perspective that naturally decided my own opinion and views about sex before marriage. So my views and my thoughts are that refusing sex before marriage is non-negotiable. That is what I feel is proper for so many reasons which I will explain and that is what the scriptures which for me is the final authority instructs.
Why is sex before marriage a no-go area for me?
Firstly, marital purity is sacrosanct and the only way it can exist is if both parties come into the relationship as virgins with their individual purity and chastity. This is the highest form of alignment with the scripture which says, "marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled." (Hebrews 13:4a)
Secondly, any relationship between a man and a woman that has not been officially solidified can still be broken if the need arises. I am a firm believer that if a relationship will break, let it not take a piece of me away with it. If sex or other invasive sexual activities have not taken place, then one can leave that relationship whole with not much to lose.
Thirdly and finally, the Bible is clear on the sinfulness of sex before marriage AKA fornication. Going against God's injunction and instruction is a sin and as such, I will not make it desirable for myself to displease God by going against his will.
I believe that by now, my undebatable stand against sex before marriage has been elucidated.
Fifth Person:
Speaking from a religious angle, it’s obviously wrong. A sin that God frowns upon and we should try to avoid by all means. Then again, we all sin, don’t we? In many different ways, every day of our lives and all sins are equal before God. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t endeavor to live a holy life, we should by all means—as Christians.
From the moral/social aspect… the truth is, we have hormones right? And these hormones lead to sexual urges that can be very difficult to deal with. However, there’s no denying the fact that sex before marriage comes with a whole lot of baggage, mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and particularly health-wise.
You have to constantly worry about not getting pregnant or impregnating someone. Every time something doesn’t feel right with your body, the first thing you begin to do is worry about the possible complications of the sex you had recently, trying to retrace your steps and see if you did something wrong or forgot to do something right. I understand it’s even worse for those who have multiple partners.
Then there’s the guilt if you’re a believer, having to constantly fight with your faith and the reality of sinning. And should I mention the emotional ties? Not being able to move on from toxic situationships because the sex just feels sooo good.
Oh yes, sex is sweet and all, and boy does it feel good, but the truth is, when you weigh the pros and cons, you have to ask yourself, “is it really worth it?”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint. It took experience for me to finally realize most of what I’m saying right now. But I’m glad I finally got it right with my partner, abstaining together until marriage.
So yes, I vote for abstinence because it’s safe and it gives you peace of mind. But at the end of the day, do whatever your conscience is comfortable with.🤗
Phew! Insightful right? What do you think? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section.😍.
I was going to share one of my private notes from my devotions, Bible studies, and passages concerning sex and rules for the unmarried, but I’ll share it with us some other time.❤️.
It was so insightful.
I learnt so much.
Thank you for sharing! 💜💜
I love that every one was expressive and open unlike the way we were taught while growing up. I also love the fact that they highlight the possible difficulties you might encounter while trying to stay chaste as well a the rewards when you eventually do.
It was a good read.
The grace to stand strong- daddy supply 🤲🏽.